August 03, 2009

Making it here

On and off, I started and ended a few projects of my own. I didn't actually end them. I guess, they died prematurely due to lack of care and consistent effort on my part. I can remember a couple, just like this, just like off the top of my mind. But, no shame, no guilt. Ideas come and ideas go/die. So, I don't bark at myself for it.

But what's been here and really, really here for the past 6 years and more is this. This blog space. I don't know anyone else who has kept a blog for as long as I have kept mine. I'm sure there are plenty out there. Just, I don't know them.

Occasionally, I read the past. "Everyone's addicted to their past" - That's from Sophie in Leverage (Season finale next Monday) today. I'm no exception.

I randomly picked a month and browsed through my own writings from a year and then, years ago. I remembered some (almost like it happened before lunch) and I have no inkling about some (almost like someone posted that, who is not me).

This is why it's fun. It's like seeing yourself from different mirrors. Not just your own past, but perhaps the past of friends, lovers, partners, bosses... and the history of now.

I still think a good sleep is one of the bestest things in life. Like I do miss the deep, deep sleep that happened after 10ml of cough syrup, trying to not remember or think about anything, and waking up to a whole, almost-new world... everything is in a different light, every space is unoccupied and free.

If one morning, we could all start over... wake up to that exact moment, what would that moment be?

Religion has rarely given me any hope. Imagination triumphs over it relentlessly. That's why I blog instead of pray. And I keep blogging.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:24